I Find Having Casual Sex Difficult While Sober.

Let me start off by saying that you are a weird-o unless you find it is easy being naked in front of someone who you have been dating for awhile. One of the good things about a committed relationship is that over time, you get to know every scrape, scar, and freckle; which your partner has on their body. And unless you are a complete sociopathic deviant, in some strange way, you will eventually learn to grow fond of their imperfections as they become endearing marks of their individualism which can be view similarly as tattoos. 

Hopefully dear readers, if you are like most couples, your committed relationship sex will eventually become as trivial as paying your MasterCard or shaving. I mean, unless you pay your bills and keep a decent looking appearance bad things tend to happen to your life. It is the same with your sex life. Just get in there with your lady or fellow and punch-out a quick sesh. And afterwards, you can watch all the Becker you damn well please with a complete knowledge that you just did a relationship check-up.

In this important (almost as important as achieving orgasm) way, sex is a way more accurate barometer to the health status of your relationship than any unrestricted conversation between lovers could ever provide. Even us frigid White Americans, speak many more volumes about how we feel through our bodies than we do through our tongues (Unless you are into spelunking. Then by all means, deliver volumes onto the world with your silvery tongue of sexual justice!).

But for those of us who enjoy the chase of uncommitted sex, the first time fucking someone sober can be wicked scary as the feeling of seeing some near stranger naked in front of you holds a weird combination of being turned on and frightened at the same time.

Now for those unlucky souls amongst us who could not handle their substances and had to throw themselves at the feet of sobriety. Sober casual sex becomes for us a strange and new unexplored field. Sobriety, that old devil. The harbinger of peace and mutually respectful interactions between individuals since the creation of mankind. The idea of it alone makes me sick.

But regardless of my personal views on inebriation and sexual intercourse. There are unfortunately people amongst us that for personal reasons must be on the wagon.

As sad as it is to say, these poor individuals no longer have the ability to achieve the quick ego boost gained by drunkenly seducing someone without any further expected commitment.  For those people, sober casual sex is now 100% honest since they can’t blame on the whiskey this time.

And yet from my own personal sober casual sex experience. Knocking boots with some near stranger while dry delivered me the chance for hypersensitivity and emotional exposure. So in this way, I have come to realize that sober casual sex has the potential of delivering some of the greatest, and at the same time, most horrifying experiences which you are capable of. Just let me tell you that you must be comfortable with the strange realness of someone’s beautiful body hitting you in the face and demanding your total attention.

I mean, it’s not like she took my clothes off just to take them off and then said to me, “Well, there you go, your clothes are off.” When we were standing naked together there were no doubts our intentions. She wanted me for me. And I personally found that to be an Earth shattering concept. Because sex while sober is no longer just a drinking game like beer pong. There is now a meaning behind it because two souls are now trying to express something by it.

So what I found out from that encounter is that when you’re sober you have no other choice but to be yourself. And in a lot of ways, such honesty is a scary beautiful thing. With sobriety, you’re forced to open your eyes and really connect with that other person. And if you are like me who got through a good period of his life with a perpetual inebriated mask on, that’s when you will find yourself at your most vulnerable.

From what I have found putting down the bottle a bit is that the main handle on sobriety is that it doesn’t give you a choice but to feel. And once I got a couple of weeks under my belt and thankfully finger blasted somebody, I was just moved by the idea that someone else wanted to say to me with their body “Liquor or not, I want you exactly the way you are”.